Tonight I want to talk a little bit about motivation.  I have discovered that over the years I have become a "watcher" not a "doer".  This is something that I am working on changing.  I sit at work all day, most of you know what I do, and I think about when I get home I'm going to work out, go walking, eat, and have sex.  Well it doesn't work out that way.  After sitting at my open cubicle and talking on the phone all day I get home, check my computer for email and check in on facebook and suddenly its 10pm and I haven't moved in hours.
     From the people I have talked to that are in Weight Watchers programs this is the norm.  They have had to literally FORCE themselves to exercise and move around after getting home from work.  I'm not even strictly speaking of an office job like I have, but any job.  If you don't have the proper motivation you just won't move and do the things you need to do to be and stay healthy.  I have a pic of me I'm posting on this blog tonight.  That is me at 250 pounds.  The heaviest I have ever been and will ever be, I can promise you that.  Mark was telling me over a year ago that I looked bad when I was on my motorcycle.  My stomach was poking out over the gas tank.  I just laughed it off and said I would get rid of it but never did.
     I am now down to 235 pounds but have a very long way to go before I am healthy.  Fat Guy Running is what I am doing to get there.  I am exercising but not as much as I should.  I am eating more healthy though not as much as I should.  My big problems right now are stress levels, smoking, and finding myself in an "I don't give a fuck" situation.  These are things that I have to change.  I was curious about making my own 12 step program to lose the weight and get off my butt and do what I want to do.  Rappelling, hiking, scuba diving, another motorcycle, and some kayaking.  Tammy has really gotten me fired up about wanting to teach myself how to kayak, on calm waters of course.
     So I see that I have digressed again.  Motivation.  What motivates you?  Motivation is something that every human strives for but the vast majority can never truly find enough to keep them going.  Even the Wall Street lawyers and bankers don't have enough motivation because if they did they would relax occasionally.  Being a workaholic is as bad as being a lazy bastard like myself.  Motivation comes in all colors and flavors, you just have to want it, need it, and then do it.  So to help motivate myself I have started sending out emails at work talking about stop blaming everyone else for your problems and identify what you need to improve and change.  Always walk through the door with a positive attitude and give 110 percent.  Things like that.  If I can motivate one of my co-workers to improve their life, then I have improved mine.  Now I have to take all that positive energy that I'm spewing like a steam locomotive and put it to good use myself, by getting out of the chair and working hard to accomplish my personal goals.
     I break it down into two categories, work ethic and personal hygiene.  Work ethic is what I do to improve my mind and my motivation at work so that I can be a better worker and hopefully get promoted and have a nice career, unless my writing career takes off.  Personal Hygiene has nothing to do with taking a shower, it has to do with three things.  Get my mind right, my body will follow, my life will follow.  That is personal hygiene.  So to get my mind right I do what I said above but I do it to myself.  I leave myself post-it notes and I even email myself.  So when I get home and sit down to check my email I see the one from me and I read it and remember everything I wanted to do.
     So without going too far off the deep end and preaching this is what I am doing to accomplish my goals.  I hope if anyone reads this it will have a positive impact on how they live their life.  If we can all improve the life of just one person then our life is more fulfilled.

If you are this big or bigger you need to make a change just like me.  I look very bad in this pic, and this blog will be a reminder to me always as I strive to improve.